Post Orphanage Life

I have to admit when I signed on to host Dzintars I really had no idea what I was in for. Sure, I had a heart for orphans and wanted to help him, but my eyes have been opened to things I was previously unaware of and now I'm left reeling with all that know.

I've been to orphanages similar to his, while in college at Azusa Pacific University I spent a month in Russia on a missions trip and we visited quite a few orphanages. I saw their sweet little faces and wanted to take them all home, but I was young and I didn't stop to think what would happen to the ones who weren't adopted. The ones who aged out.

Now I know and there's no going back! Without intervention, upon leaving the orphanage, 60% of girls will end up in prostitution, 70% of the boys will end up on the streets or in jail, and 15% will commit suicide within the first two years on their own.

How can I allow any of THAT to happen to him???

He's so sweet and innocent and everything good in this world!!

Today a friend posted some pictures of a former orphans apartment. They were shocking to say the least. From what I've learned about "aging out" I'd say it compares to being released from prison here in the United States, only you've done nothing wrong. They might as well be criminals, because that's how their society treats orphans. Between the ages of 16 and 18, kids who aren't adopted will be forced to leave their orphanages, and head out on their own with little to no support and this is what they have to look forward to.

This is what Dzintars has to look forward to if he doesn't get adopted. Do you see the window in the picture above? It doesn't even have glass. I'm trying to imagine my boy, my SUPER cold-blooded boy, who had trouble regulating his body temperature in the middle of a summer evening in California, having to suffer through life with a broken window in the middle of winter in Latvia. I just can't, I don't want to go there!!

Would you want to live there?

Oh please! Somebody rescue my boy!!

The Face of Innocence

Look at this face! This is the face of innocence! The face of hope!! The face of a boy, who is waiting for someone to come bring him home!



Today I received these pictures from a woman I've never met. She's a former host mama, now officially an adoptive mama who was in Latvia finalizing her son's adoption. They decided to spend a day volunteering at an orphan camp and low and behold who do you think she saw when she got there but my Dzintars!! Coincidence? I think not!! She immediately recognized him from our New Horizons facebook group and my blog and decided to bless me with new photos of my boy! I'm happy to see his beautiful smile is still in tact! After our VERY tearful goodbye, I worried that he might return to his former "orphan" mode, steeling himself up for life in the orphanage.

She sent this message as well:

Guess what???? I was at orphan camp here in Latvia yesterday when guess who I notice in the group??? YES - Dzintars!!!! I was sooooooo excited because I've been praying through your story so felt like I know him! I went to say hi and that I know you and asked if I could take a pic to send you for a surprise. He said yes. Then he came over to me many more times to get pix and video for you. Have to send from USA because of a computer problem but wanted you to know they are on their way!

Also, he asked me if you were bringing him back. Ouch! I said I knew that you'd love to but can't always do that. I told him I'd pray. Then he said to tell you please to bring him back. Tell you he really wants to come back.

Oh my really sweet boy Stacey. He and Arturs (another boy hosted through NHFC this summer) really stood out. Just boys - without the anger so many of the others showed.

Anyway in the next day or two be watching for your boy's pics!

Thanking God for this gift for all of us. Dz was so willing for hugs and all. I'm not you but I hope he felt your love and Jesus' through me!

Did you read that? He's begging for us to come back for him. He's seen what life in a family can be like and he desperately wants one of his own!! He is completely unaware of all the many, many people here in the United States that have been helping me advocate and spread the word about him. All he knows is he wants to return to America, where he can have the hope and future that aging out of the orphanage system in his country will not allow him. 

I know reading that he's at "camp" makes it sound like a fun place to be and in fact I was happy to learn that he's at this camp, as it's run by Christians and from what I hear one of the better ones out there. But in Latvia, orphan camp is really just a place to send the kids when their orphanages close for the summer and winter. It's not the same as American camps. For starters they sleep in tents and it rains so they get soaked, which makes me sad for my super thin Latvian who had trouble staying warm on a summer night in California. There may be some fun planned activities as evidenced in these pictures, but the kids are certainly not the same. They are hardened by a life of lose and disappointment and many of them are angry at the world. This is NOT where Dzintars belongs! It's not where any of them belong...but that's a whole other post!!


You can read a little more about the camp Dzintars was at on Sue's blog by clicking here.  Thank you Sue for blessing me with these pictures.

Playing what I'm assuming is the "dizzy" bat relay race game. 

Eating in the dining hall. I'm told they had to eat in shifts as the space is quite small. Dz is in the far left corner. 

With "V" who is an orphan no more!! Welcome home "V"!!

Yep, that's my boy! Arms crossed in an attempt to keep himself warm!

Working on a camp treehouse. 

 

Dzintars and a rainbow following a rain storm!! A reminder of God's promises!!

Won't someone bring this boy home????





Forever Families

You may remember this post where I shared with you what my friend Andrea over at Babe of My Heart had to say about the orphan crisis. Not everyone is called to adopt, but we can all do something!! Maybe you are a prayer warrior? Maybe you can host a child and then become their advocate? Maybe you can help others with the costs of their adoption? What are you going to do???


Many kids found their forever families this summer after being hosted with New Horizons for Children! Their parents are now diligently working to complete mountains of paperwork and actively fundraising. Today, I'd like to share three of these families with you.


First up is the Pierce Family. They hosted Borys from Ukraine.

 

Borys is alone and has been alone as long as he could remember. He has no known family. He’s been at the orphanage his entire life. And yet, he is incredibly resilient and sensitive. He is a God-fearing young man and is caring to animals, babies, and young children. He is a teenager, but he has the playful spirit of a little boy. He deeply wishes for a family, and the last time he came to America on the host program, he just loved anything that involved spending time with the host mom and dad.

Borys is of gypsy descent. In Eastern Europe, many people don’t look too kindly upon that. The color of his skin will greatly limit his opportunity in life. Borys is an orphan. In Eastern Europe, they label orphans and do not give them the same opportunity for education and career paths as other kids. With both of those factors working against him, He will struggle if he stays there… with no family to guide him into adulthood.

Then came the Pierce family. Mom Rawne writes:


We intended to just host and advocate for a child. It was set to be a missions project for our family. I wanted my children to skip summer camps and extra activities this year and minister to the needs of another child who had far less than they did. I wanted to feel compassion and realize that the world is bigger than their community.

We went back and forth on the child to host but settled on Borys because in his photolisting he was wearing his glasses upside down. That was the first indicator that he would fit in our family. We are very silly and always up for a good laugh. 

He was a very easy child. Our three y/o daughter grabbed his hand at the airport and walked him to the car. He was very protective of her instantly. The two of them perhaps formed the closest bond. That was to be expected as they have very similar personalities, sociable, silly, outgoing.

Borys won the hearts of everyone he met. He had the coolest little games to break the ice. When we went to the mall, he chose to spend his money on a carousel ride for the two of us. I could tell the operator was irritated by a teenage boy riding. But by the end of the ride, he had people waving at him every time he went by.

Half way through the hosting, I realized he was no longer a guest in our home but a family member. In other words, I had to decide if I was going to teach him to be a valuable family member or a guest who I could spoil rotten.

Borys with his new family!!!

Luckily for Borys, the Pierce family can't imagine their lives without him and will be bringing him home forever as soon as possible!! If you'd like to help them bring Borys home you can donate to their adoption funds at Project Eli by clicking here.

Next up we have Janis and the Rominger Family. The Rominger family heard about New Horizons for Children at church and decided to host Janis this summer.

Mom Tracey writes:

We fell in love with Janis before we even met him for the first time, face to face. I knew he was my son as soon as I saw his picture and read his profile on NHFC. My husband, Timmy, was being the rational one and really wanted us to complete the 5 weeks with him before we committed to all the fees associated with getting started with the adoption. So we waited and fell in love with him all over again when we met him at the airport on June 28th. He was instantly attached to my husband and I could see immediately he was ours and this time my husband was on board. We sent our application in for the home study agency and the adoption agency right away. We are currently finishing up our home study and it should be complete and finalized by the end of August. Since it happened so quick, we cleared out what little we had in our savings account to pay the $1600 home study fee, $250 application fee to the adoption agency and various amounts for the mounds of certified paperwork and passports we had to get this past month. We have nothing left, but yet we will not let this stop us from dragging this adoption out. He asked for us to bring him home, to be with us forever and we will do that and quickly. While Janis was here he opened up and told us about life in his orphanage-having few friends, getting bullied and beat up on many occasions. He is so shy and fearful of everything. The only place he was really himself and comfortable (after 2 weeks of hosting) was our house. His true self shined and we saw a funny, sweet, amazing teenage boy who just wanted praise and love. By the end of the 5 weeks he was literally begging for it by "getting hurt" so we would make a huge deal about it and hug him and worry over him and always yelling "look mama, look at what I can do". We were his constant cheerleaders and we saw his self esteem start to grow. Departure day came and at the airport we saw him go back into "orphan" mode. He was sullen, quiet and did not even look at us as we stood crying watching him go through security. I am hurting so bad imagining  him back at his orphanage with no one to praise and hug him, no one to kiss him goodnight, no one to protect him. I could see this sweet boy hardening himself for what he has to deal with on a daily basis. I want my baby boy home, so I can protect and love him daily. So you can see why I would love to have him home as soon as possible-he needs to be rescued. We are praying for a Christmas time reunion, but for that to happen the money needs to come quickly. We figured we need close to $20K just to be able to get to Latvia on our first trip to bring him home.

Janis with his new family:)

If you'd like to read more about Janis or to donate to their adoption funds you can check out their family blog called Love In Latvia.

Lastly, we have the McLaughlin family. Danny and April McLaughlin have prayerfully considered adoption for many years and have waited upon the Lord to bring the children that He wants for them. They have one 10 year old son, Coby, but they felt that their family wasn't complete.This summer they hosted two siblings named Lilya and Alex.



Mom April writes:

Lilya and Alex live in an orphanage in an Eastern Europe.  The orphanage that they live in is a very dark place and one of the worst orphanages many adopting families and mission groups have seen.  We have been lead to adopt these two precious kids and are working on our dossier right now to try and bring Lilya and Alex home as soon as possible.  We hope to travel by November.  Lilya and Alex practically begged us to come back and get them!  They are very sweet children with such a good heart and they want nothing more than a family.  They told a translator that they do not want gifts, they just want love. 

Lilya, Alex and their new family:)

To read more about the McLaughlin family or to help with their adoption costs please check out their page on Project Eli by clicking here.



Please consider helping these families bring their babies home!! It has been my pleasure to get to know them and watch their kids personalities unfold on our facebook page for hosting families. Let's get these four home for their first Christmas as a part of a family!!!

Dear Dzintars,

I know your heart is hurting because we had to say goodbye, but I wanted to let you know some of the amazing things God is doing as a direct result of us hosting you!

Because you were brave enough to fly halfway around the world to live with a family you knew nothing about and who didn't even speak your language many lives have been touched. Many more than I ever thought possible!! Because you were so amazingly awesome, resilient and downright fun, people have taken notice of the orphan crisis and are reaching out to help!

I chose to blog about our time with you mainly to record my memories for myself and also to keep my out of town family informed. I had hoped to find you a forever family, and I had hoped that maybe a family or two would step up to host in the future...but God had BIGGER plans:)

Ephesians 3:20-21 says:

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

The stories are still pouring in but here are just a few of the awesome things God has done through you:

• As I created this blog I felt God calling me to link a few of my favorite blogs on the side bar, I wasn't sure why, but I have found some of my favorite bloggers via other blogs I read so I went ahead and added them. Now I know why:) A blog reader found out about the work done by Serving His Children in Uganda and stepped up to provide them with a much needed doctor and nutritionist who will impact HUNDREDS of young lives on the brink of death!!
• A family who had tossed around the idea of adopting an older child for awhile now fell in love with you via this blog. Though they turned out to be too young to be your forever family you have inspired them to start the adoption process now so they can adopt in the future! Another life will be changed forever because of you buddy, a child will have a family to call their own!
• Families I do not even know have contacted me and told me they'll be hosting in the future because of you! And I have no doubt that those families will go on to impact more families who will also step out and host and the chain of lives you've touched will go on and on and on. 

I stand amazed at the ways God is using our hosting experience to His glory! And those are just the ones I know about, who knows what other amazing things are unfolding behind the scenes that we may never be aware of!! 

It's highly unlikely that you'll ever read this letter, though I suppose a good Google search would do the trick, but on the off chance that you do, I want to thank you for your bravery! For allowing us to love you and for loving us back!!

Love,
Your mama in America

Even If

Not sure how much blogging I'll be doing in the coming days and weeks...it was easy to blog when Dzintars was here, our days were full of love and fun and we had many happy moments to share. But now that he's gone and his future is uncertain I'm struggling to find something happy to say. I mean do you really want to hear how folding his last load of left behind clothes made me cry? Or how much I miss the childish giggles that would escape when he was wrestling with Peter? My heart is literally aching for him, for the sense of loss he must be feeling. I'm brokenhearted, that much is true, but while I still have Peter and the kids, Dzintars is alone and his dream of being a part of a family now seems dashed.

I'm struggling today, wrestling with one tough question: How could it be part of God's plan for this amazing kid to NOT be set in a family??

He's seen me through some particularily rough moments in my life, one year in specific stands out. After three consecutive miscarriages I was broken and empty and all I could do was cry out to God and trust that He was who He said He was! He was ultimately faithful, but things did not unfold the way I wanted them to and it was hard. Devastating even. But now, more than 5 years later I have some perspective and I see his hand at work and how he used that time to shape me.

I love this song by Kutless. Even if...even if Dzintars doesn't find his forever family...even if he ages out of the system...even if I never hear from my boy again...God is God, He is good and forever faithful! Even when life falls apart and his dreams of a forever family are still undone God is faithful!! It's so hard to live in the "unknown" in the darker days where it would be easier to give into the hopelessness of a situation, but though we may not see it or even feel it I KNOW MY GOD IS FAITHFUL.

So today I choose to hold on to what I know is true and who I know my God to be! He's forever faithful, his ways are not my ways and he'll work all things in Dzintars life for good!

Goodbye Sucks!!!!

Sorry, can't hide my feelings, goodbye sucks:( 

It was just plain awful!! 

I was in tears this morning before Dzintars even got out of bed! And now I'm just numb. Before I make everyone cry, let me share a few photos of the parts of our day that didn't include a 14 year old sobbing and begging me not to make him go back to Latvia. 

My sweet husband took Dzintars out to buy me some gifts last night. I got two bouquets of flowers, a balloon that says "I love you" and some precious pieces of jewelry. Dzintars is such a thoughtful kid, he loves watches and picked me out a new one, as well as a bracelet that has the words "faith, hope and love" on it and my favorite piece is a necklace with a "blinged up" letter D for Dzintars:) Today after Peter left for work he asked me to take him out to buy a gift for Peter. We were already picking up pictures at Costco so I took him to the Azusa Target with the shopping cart escalator. I knew he'd get a kick out of it and I was right:) He thought it was super cool so of course I took his picture with it! 

The kids and I took him for one more sweet treat at Twohey's in Alhambra:) He took one bite and declared it "PERFECT!" Ha! That was the first time I'd ever heard him use that word. It was followed by many "yum-yums":) 

Family hugs before driving to the airport. 

We almost scored another night with our boy when American cancelled his flight to JFK. But after a few hours of scrambling by LeAnn the director of New Horizons and some smooth talking at LAX from our local coordinator and Peter we were able to book all the kids and the airline representative on a flight from LAX to Nashville and then to La Guardia, where they'll have to take ground transportation to JFK. Dzintars was very disappointed when the new flight was booked. He told me "Too bad. I thought I was going to get one more night with you. I wish I was your son!" Rip my heart out why don't you kid?

The kids were rock stars!! Didn't get home till after 11 pm and they were just superb!! Small miracles folks, small miracles.

Playing Uno with Victorja and Dan.

One of Brennan's two new Latvian crushes. She's such a cutie. 

The kids both loved Santa.

They'll miss their big brother. Both of them are already asking why he had to go:(

 One final shot as a family of five.

They had their serious faces on tonight. 

Until they started tickling each other.

Right after this picture was taken we had to say our final goodbyes. It was awful!! I knew he was sad and desperately wanted to stay. But I did not expect him to sob and cling to me with everything he had begging me not to make him go:( We had to pry him off of me and nearly shove him up the escalator away from us.  It was devastating. My heart hurts for this boy, for the loss he is feeling and the fact that all he's ever wanted is a family of his own. We will do our best to love him well from here but he NEEDS a family! These next days will be hard for us all, please keep all five of us in your prayers as we mourn the fact that we're no longer together and continue to pray for a family for Dzintars!! I desperately want to tell him he has a family coming just for him!! He's had a few families seriously inquire about him but none of them will be able to proceed. There is a minimum age gap between parent and child of 18 years, that alone has "disqualified" two possible families today alone and another one last week. I know there is a family out there searching for Dzintars, they just don't know it yet! Please, continue to share his story. You never know when your one "share" will reach the family that was meant to be his all along!!

Tears

I've been pretending this day would never come and now it's here and I'm heartbroken! I'm in tears already and Dzintars isn't even out of bed yet! In an effort not to be the only one crying today I leave you with this beautiful video of some of the hosted kiddos with their promises of God signs! Go ahead, try NOT to cry as you see their beautiful faces.