Halfway

*Sigh* Today marks the halfway point in hosting, and while some families that have had a more challenging experience than we have are breathing a huge sigh of relief today as they see the light at the end of the tunnel, this thought makes me incredibly sad.

I look at our amazing, happy, super silly, laughing little prankster of a host son, who daily tells me he wants to stay in America forever and I want to cry. Cry because I'll miss him. Cry because going back to Latvia holds so many unknowns for him. Will our five weeks with him have been enough to make a lasting impact on this boys life or will he go back to the quiet, shy and reserved boy who rarely spoke or smiled? This child is ALIVE! He's full of life and energy and smiles and love and it breaks my heart not knowing what will become of him! While he's here I can keep him safe, I can love him well and allow him to be a kid, but once he boards that plane I have no control over what happens to him. I suppose the lesson here is that I never had control to begin with, right? I like to think I have control, but really control is all an illusion. God is in control and I KNOW he has great plans for our boys life! My job is to simply trust that the one who is in control loves him more than I do!